The Typical Marauder Fanfic
by Sunflakes
Summary: A parody of most of the Marauderera fanfictions. 'Nuff said.


**The Typical Marauder Fanfic**

In every Marauder fanfic, Lily Evans has got to walk to the train, where she was to meet the Head Boy. Her mother and father were always there, but never Petunia, whom she hated. She waited for Remus to come to the Head compartment. It is _so_ obvious it was going to be Remus! Who else could it be? Just then, James Potter should walk in, wearing a badge that said 'Head Boy' on it. Lily will have to yell at him for stealing Remus' badge.

Remus will then walk in and tell her that James really did get Head Boy. Suddenly, Lily's three best friends with James' other two best friends have to walk in.

Lily's friends will have to be extremely beautiful. There will be a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, who is a player, and 'hates' Sirius Black. Let's call her Destiny. Then, there will be a girl who has raven, _never_ black, always raven-colored hair, and hazel eyes. She is shy, quiet, and likes Remus Lupin, but was in denial. Let's call her Hope. And, lastly, there is the best friend with a mysterious, dark past. She will have dark colored hair and purple eyes. Let's call her Faith.

And then, there were the Marauders, who were James Potter, who's the loveable jock. Sirius Black is the pretty-boy who has a new girlfriend every day, and is really dumb and hyper. Remus Lupin is the tired werewolf who eventually tells Hope that he is a werewolf. Hope, of course, will understand, because that's the kind of girl she is. And Peter Pettigrew is always seen hanging out with Slytherins. Always.

After the train ride in which there is _never_ a prefect's meeting, the Sorting. This is where Dumbledore, for the first and last time, announces the Head Boy and Girl. There will be excited whispers everywhere. Of course, for the first and last time, there is going to be a Halloween/Christmas/New Years Eve/Thanksgiving Ball. And the Head Boy and Girl have to go together.

Fast forward to the Halloween/Christmas/New Years Eve/Thanksgiving Ball. Lily will _always_ be wearing emerald. Always. There will never be a fic in which Lily doesn't where emerald. It's in the unwritten rules.

Lily's friends will be described in excruciating detail. Remus will take Hope, Sirius will take a nameless girl, Destiny will take a nameless guy, Faith will take her boyfriend, and Peter will have to go alone because he's ugly.

At the ball, Remus and Hope will confess their feelings for each other, as will Sirius and Destiny. Lily and James will have a wonderful time together, and will have to kiss because they are drawn to each other. Like peanut butter and jelly. Then, Lily, being the super-sensitive, insecure, puddle of goo with no backbone, will run off, convinced she is just a 'prize' and means nothing to James.

James, of course, will be crushed. They will spend a week or two in awkwardness, before being forced to talk. After talking everything out, they will agree to go out.

They will be the perfect couple, and the month together will be spent in bliss. Then, the climax! Lily will be turning the corner when she sees _another_ girl kissing James! No matter that he isn't responding and is struggling to get her off! Lily will run away.

Of course, by the end of the year, they will have made up for varying reasons, depending on the author. James will ask her to marry him at the first and last graduation ceremony. Lily will never care that they are really young, and always say yes.

And the author will usually finish up with that last scene. Some smarter ones break up Hope and Remus, and Sirius and Destiny. But not very many.

And that, my fellow authors, is the typical Marauder fanfic. Thank you.

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**Disclaimer: You know that wonderful woman richer than the Queen of England? Yeah, she's the won who owns Harry Potter. Not me.**

**A/N: I am so _sick_ of those Marauder fanfictions, I just decided to write this. Please, don't make the same mistake as many others before you if you are planning to write a Marauder fanfiction. Be creative! Thank you.**


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